OldTools Archive

Recent Bios FAQ

263778 "yorkshireman@y..." <yorkshireman@y...> 2017‑11‑03 Re: New galoot
Excuse me, but,

The first order of business is to say ‘Welcome' to Rick, evidently someone of
refinement and good taste,  for whom a rocking chair is ready over here on the
quality end of the porch, overlooking the river.  Cool refreshing throat
lubrication is ever available from our perpetually renewed stocks of anything at
all, and the conversation covers everything but religion and politics in flowing
and erudite terms.

Secondly.. 
You may have noted some of our colonial friends chattering 
> Sorry about the long presentation and i'm very glad that I found you guys
> !!
> 
> P.S. Sorry about my english, My native language is french, don't hesitate
> to correct me if you see mistakes, I want to write english better :)
> 
> Rick.

There - you said it.  You want to write english better.  The clue is in the
name,  English.  From England. From whence so much civilisation spread across
the world - after we had slaughtered any inhabitants, of course.  The only place
for good advice oin the matter is from this side of the Atlantic.
You can tell we’re more sophisticated than what our colonial cousins are,
because no one had the good grace to mention that, unlike French, the verb comes
first - so “I want to write English better”   would be “I want to write better
English”
Now, given that our English court had French as the official language after we
were invaded, I have no idea why we did that, perhaps the many traps we have in
English is just so we can tell when someone ‘isn’t from round here’
Not that I care, I’m fro’ Yorkshire, so most of my language is a hangover from
the Viking invaders, with a bit of Scots here and there, and some Anglo-Saxon.

But, whatever the language, the sentiment is the same -  You’re welcome here.  
Incidentally, I once sent a galootaclaus victim some beer and elephant dung.
Its not the value that matters.
oh, for the avoidance of doubt, the dung came with seed for a hardwood -
(perfect growing medium)  and the bottle of fine english beer was to while away
the time whilst waiting for your timber to grow. The beer would have been “Old
Peculiar” probably, as the name suits us - and it’s a fine beer on draught,
especially at the ‘Red Lion’ on Blakey Ridge.

Richard Wilson
Yorkshireman Galoot
in Northumbria

- and of course, we all have a common code of speech here anyway, made of
numbers, tooth counts, grit sizes, and friendly banter.

Recent Bios FAQ