Patrick Olguin wrote:

> The following
> is a list of actual words which fell out of my mouth, masquerading as
> reasons, in what I think is the order they were first uttered by me,
> and it also happens to be the same order of increasing absurdity.

[SNIP]

> I welcome your comments.

I've tried a couple of these; once or twice it was successful, most
times just result in a rolling of the eyes from SWMBO.

I have since decided that these don't work anymore. She has told me that
she doesn't want to hear about old tools anymore - she's sick of hearing
about it. If it's not old tools, it's old cars - she doesn't want to
know about either. I have subsequently determined that I'm now very near
the bottom of the slippery slope, as I've used that to rationalize my
newly developed behavior... O.K., here it goes...

I've begun purchasing things in my travels and then when I get home....
I SNEAK THEM INTO THE HOUSE.

There - I've said it. Whew - feels kinda good to get that out. I
actually check to make sure that she's occupied with the baby and then
quietly slip down to "get something from the car", and quickly (with
furtive glances at the window to be sure she's not watching) grab
whatever rusty/greasy/old/heavy/cast iron/steel/wood item(s) are in the
trunk/floor of the car and run in that funny scurrying way that you have
to when you're carrying something heavy that you don't want anyone to
see, and you don't want the sawdust/grease/rust to get on your clothes.
(Worse than lipstick on your collar, if'n ya know what I mean).

Said item(s) then get quickly and quietly as possible deposited in the
shop somewhere, usually in several somewheres - it's not a good idea to
have them all appear in the same spot at the same time. If she does
notice one or two at a later date (which, so far, she has not), then
it's "What - that? No, I've had that for a while - it's been there for a
long time. You didn't notice it before? Oh."

Why just today, I dissasembled and electrolysed, mineral spirited, steel
wooled, and oiled a couple of these mysterious items. She's lost track -
all she knows is "He's down there playing in that dirty pile of shop
again..."

Works for me...

;-)

(Getting prepared for my first Crane's experience in two weeks - got the
tent out today, sealed the seams on the rain fly (just in case),
unrolled the sleeping bag...)

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William K. Taggart (Bill)
Califon, NJ, USA
wkt@i...
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